How did I get here?

In my high school senior year book, there was a page devoted to "Seniors Approach the Year 2000 with Varied Expectations." At the top of the list is a photo of me with the caption "Melissa expects a large family to occupy her time." The story proceeds with my expectation of having at least four or five children. WHAT? I obviously had NO idea how much energy and MONEY kids require.

Funny thing is, I had my first child in 2000. But that didn't stop my ambitions. I continued to work full-time with determined drive and the ridiculous belief that I could manage it all AND have perfect children, house and husband. Again, WHAT?

Looking back, I am really not sure how I got here as I sit in my quiet house with the kids finally in bed. All I know is that one day I was at the 2009 Presidential Inauguration and the next I was being told that my position had been eliminated. And here I sit.

I suppose my prophecy at 17 was correct. My children are occupying my time. Too bad I have no idea what I am doing.

Laughing a crazed, pathetic, maybe-no-one-will-notice laugh...