What would I tell my 18 year old self?

Like most 18 year olds, I thought I knew a lot. I may have even thought I knew more than my peers having had to grow up quickly due to my upbringing. Before I begin to broach this topic, let's rewind to circa 1984. Prince was singing about when doves cry, Geraldine Ferraro ran for Vice President, and a television show debuted that was a god-send to me. No, it wasn't the Cosby Show which debuted that year, as well. It was a show called Kate & Allie. Let me explain.

There was a cultural shift occurring at that time. Women were finding their voices and getting back into the workforce, men were wearing makeup (mostly musicians but I still like writing that) and the American family that many watched weekly was an African American family. It appeared we were making progress!

Kate & Allie was a show about two divorced women with children who chose to become roommates in order to share expenses and make ends meet while raising their families. This arrangement provided a reference to a unique family unit helping me navigate a very difficult stage of my life. I lived in a household depicted in Kate & Allie. Only my experience was different. 

At a time when being gay was only a tendency assigned to hairstylists, musicians and closeted actors, I was in middle school when my mother came out to me. While this story is probably better served in another post, the experience had a lasting effect on me. Having the show to reference certainly made the transition into our new 'family' easier to explain, I didn't feel I could be honest about why we really lived together. The result was the realization of finding it hard to trust and acquiring the ability to build walls around me. That created barriers to believing in myself, finishing what I started and feeling like I belonged. At 18, I was actually more reserved than I saw myself. I thought I had a clue on life and its many challenges and rewards. I was so wrong.

So back to the question of knowing what I know now, what would I tell my 18 year old self? I would tell her this:

• It will be okay. Let life flow more. Stress less.
• Network, network, network. It really is about who you know.
• Invest in relationships with people worthy of your trust. Being selective is okay.
• Never stop learning. If not in formal education, in the school of life.
• Invest in your future now. SAVE that money, be thrifty! You'll need it more later.
• There's always a way to your goal - over, under, around or through any barriers. Don't let obstacles get in the way, whether they're tangible or just in your head.
• Have fun! Seek out experiences that will make you laugh, love and learn.
• And don't forget to call your mother. She did bring you into this world. The least you can say is thank you.

What advice would you give yourself?